Where Oh Where Has My Sasukekun Gone!
by greenkat92
Summary: complete randomness!  everthing from Itachi's HUGE SECRET to Chouji wanting to eat rock lee!  This was only meant to be a one chappie story but it ran away with it'self!  XDmuch luvkitty
1. Chapter 1

"No! Don't let the evil koala get me!" Sakura Haruno screams aloud, kicking her legs and waving her arms around like a crazy person would. Well, at least she's in character! She pants, waking and sitting up in her Hello Kitty bed sheets. The morning sun shines brightly through an open window, and a light breeze floats through the room. Sakura searches the room quickly with her eyes, making sure that no small, grey, fuzzy bears were going to try to eat her like bamboo.

Wiping sleep out of her eyes, she stretches and stands up out of bed. Walking over to the window, she looks down upon Konoha. As she glances around, her eyes catch on a smurf wearing a duck on his head. "Wait- that's no smurf- that's Sasuke!" Sakura smiles and leans out to wave at when he turns around and she sees his face. "Hang on- that's not Sasuke either!" looking closer, she realizes that it is-

"Kisame, I don't get why you have to wear that Donald Duck hat- you look like even more of an idiot," Itachi Uchiha says, shaking his head with his eyes closed so that he doesn't have to bare seeing his partner like this any longer. 'Ugh, I'd rather work with Sasori than Kisame at times like these,' Itachi thinks to himself spitefully as he flips his hair over his shoulder.

"Because! Mickey Mouse told me it was good luck!" Kisame said, crossing his arms and putting, like a seven foot tall baby. 'Itachi just doesn't understand how smart Mickey is,' Kisame tells himself, pulling the hat down further on his face.

Sighing, disappointed, Sakura turns around back to her room. So it was a smurf then. 'But that doesn't matter anyways!' she smiles, holding her fist up. "Today's the day! The day I will get Sasuke to give me his left shoe!" She looks endearingly to the corner next to her bed, where lay a right shoe on what looked like a small Sasuke shrine. Walking over, she picks up the shoe and hugs it against her heart- without knowing, she almost knocks herself out from the stench of Sasuke's right shoe.

Stepping out onto the street, she looks up and down it for any signs of Sasuke. "Where could he be?" She asks herself, trying to think, and we all know how hard that is for her. After a while, she just uses her luck (no matter how bad it is), to figure out a way to find him. "Alright, let's see, I had rice last night, which is wrong for my diet, so it's not right- so that means I should go left!" she pauses for a second to think about it. "Then again, my first instinct is usually wrong, so I should go right- but then my instinct is saying right- so I should just," she stops to figure it the rest of the way out, "So, I should just go forward!" she decides, smiling.

After taking three steps forward, she finds a dire need to cover her nose- "Ugh, I hate it when they use pesticide in the town!!" she exclaims, turning left and starting to walk.

Just as she turns away from the street she was about to walk down, Sasuke steps out of the Ichiraku Noodle Shop.

"For the hundredth time Sasuke, I will not tell you where babies come from!" Kakashi-sensei says, trying to escape Sasuke's curious questions and awkward conversations.

"But my parents never got to tell me!" Sasuke exclaims, sadly as his sensei quickly runs away down the street. Sasuke sighs sadly, "Great, now I'll never learn how to revive my clan!" Looking around, he see's a sign with a stork on it. "Storks! Maybe it's true about them!" Quickly, he runs into the shop.

Sakura continues to walk down the left street, the morning air filled with busy noise. Seeing a familiar face, she stops to ask if they have seen Sasuke. "Hey Broccoli, have you seen Sasuke lately?" She asks. 'Please let him have seen Sasuke!'

"Sakura, I do not know why you are calling me by the name of a vegetable, but I can only hope that it is a pet name, to show your affection!" Rock lee says, turning to Sakura after feeding his pet caterpillars that live on his forehead. Sakura shudders- he is too weird!

"Now, what was it that you had asked, my dear Sakura?" he asks, hopefully, his youth shining through.

"Oh- umn- nothing- just- GO AWAY NOW!" she screams, running further down the street, away from Lee as fast as her legs could carry her.

Quietly, Lee cries to himself. 'Someday, I will finally take Sakura's right shoe!' he decides, trying not to let anyone see his tears. "Hey, Lee," Chouji says, walking up to the crying ninja.

"Yes, what is it?" Rock lee asks, 'what does he want with me?'

"Did Sakura just call you 'Broccoli'? " Chouji asks, looking Lee up and down. Lee nods. "Do you like cheese, Lee?" Chouji asks, a small bit of drool trying to escape the corners of his mouth.

"Yes, but I do not understand why you are asking me that-" Lee says- creaped out by how Chouji was behaving.

"Well," Chouji begins, liking his lips, a passionate fire burning in his eyes (and stomach), "You see I love to cover broccoli in cheese, and then eat it!" Lee's eyes widen even further, as if it were possible. 'Is he serious?' Lee asks himself- freaked out. Chouji licks his lips hungrily, and Lee screams, running away the opposite direction Sakura was running, and two times faster.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He screams, waving his arms around wildly to the point where he almost looked as crazy as Sakura when she woke up that morning.

"Alright then," Sakura says, turning a corner to be out of Lee's sight. "If I were an emo duck- where would I hide?" She asks her self, looking all around the new street.

"I'LL KILL YOU KIBA!!" Sakura is almost knocked into the next town when a scantily clad bald boy runs her over.

"What's your problem?!" she asks the rude almost naked, bald boy as he continues down the street. "Do you really think that those shoes go with that thon- oh my god-" she says, looking at his face and seeing who it was.

"Have you seen Kiba?! He did this to me- and he's going to die for it!" Neji Hyuga says, covering his-

this can not be said because if it was than Neji would kill me and I do not feel like being killed, because how else could I finish this tale of Sakura's woes?

-and trying to hide the tears that were trying to escape out of embarrassment. His, now, bald scalp was shining in the sunlight.

"Uh- Kiba- umn- wow," Sakura says, in shock out of Neji's appearance. Neji shakes his head at her, and then runs down the street, wanting to hide from the looks he was getting from others. "Did he get a tan?" Sakura asks herself, ignoring the question as to how Kiba got a thong on Neji. "He's cute; maybe I should steal one of his shoes!" Sakura says, watching him turn the corner."

"Don't even think about it!" Tenten says, running past Sakura, after Neji. "It's ok Neji, I still love you!!

"Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama, fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama, llama, DUCK!!" Kisame sings about his hat, as Itachi closes the top notches of his cloak so that no one can recognize him with this nimrod. 'Sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane one in this series,' he thinks to himself sadly. A camera goes off nearby and for just a moment, Itachi strikes a very hot pose. He tries to brush this off, but he wonders if anyone knows his dark secret. As they pass a large shadowy building, he looks up, out of his cloak-

"Where is it coming from?" He looks around, silently. His ears waiting to hear it again.

"What is it Itachi?" Kisame asks, looking around for what was bothering his partner. 'Is it Mickey Mouse?' he asks himself, hopefully.

"Don't you hear that Kisame?" Itachi asks, turning about to see where the sound is coming from. Kisame thinks that Itachi is dancing, so he breaks into the chorus of the chicken dance. Itachi tries his best to ignore his bird brained partner, what is making that noise? Who would have the bravery to? Kisame realizes his partner isn't dancing, and stops it himself right after he claps his hands three times.

"There's a traitor in that building," Itachi says, now knowing exactly where the noise was coming from. "Listen closely." Itachi says, fixing a strap that was under his cloak. Kisame takes off his Daffy hat for just a moment to uncover his nonexistent ears in a hope to hear better.

"A traitor? Who are they against?" Kisame asks, confused.

Itachi poses dramatically, then turns to Kisame, "Our whole world."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Sakura's desperation to find Sasuke was growing stronger with each passing moment. 'Where could he be?!' she asks herself, 'at this rate, his shoes will be different sizes by the time I get his left one!' Turning a corner, Sakura sees someone standing there, sinisterly with their back to her. 'Maybe they've seen Sasuke!' Sakura quickly hurries over to him and taps his shoulder.

"Umn, hey, can I ask y-" Sakura freezes mid-sentence as the boy slowly turns around, a neurotic look playing through his extremely pale features.

"I know who you are- you're with thems, aren't you? You want to take our family aways- but we- we won't let you, we loves eachothers and we are happy togethers and always will be!" The boys face was red and you could see the veins under his skin were throbbing. Sakura backs away slowly, terrified.

"Wh- what's wrong with you Shino?!" She tries not to look at her fellow ninja in this state. "Who do you love?" she asks, confused at his demeanor. She can't help but hope it's her, yes- she really is that desperate.

"My precious, you wants to steal thems from us, but we wont let yous, no, we won'ts," Shino says in a very eerie voice, reminding Sakura of Kakashi-sensei after he's had a little too much sake. He rubs his hands together, then cries out in pain, covering his face from everything around him.

"Shino- do- do I have to go retrieve Lady Tsunade for you?!" she asks, hopefully, not really going to get the medical ninja, but hoping to escape from this scene. She turns to leave, then Shino reaches out to her, grayish tears streaking down his face slowly.

"No!! Don't leave Sakura, I'm sorry!" he cries out to her. She stops in her tracks- his words sounded sincere. "It's the pesticides they're spraying around the streets, you've smelt them, haven't you?" he asks.

Sakura thinks about her day so far. 'Ok, I woke up in a magical forest and waved at an oompa-loompa while searching around for my true love. I asked Charlie Bucket if he had seen Sasuke, but he tried to hit on me- and his eyebrows creaped me out- so I ran away, and now, I'm talking to Willy Wonka about his latest type of candy. Wait- didn't I nearly choke on something on my way over her?' she ponders this idea for a moment before replying.

"Nope," she says, turning away from Shino and skipping down the bubble gum street. Shino starts to choke, then falls over, his legs and arms flailing around wildly for a few moments, then stopping as his breath does.

Sasuke searches the store, everything in it either a dark deep sea blue, or a shiny colorful color that was all of Sasuke's hidden emotions- and all of his secret fears- bright, metallic, terrify all emo's pink. Sasuke quickly finds the front desk. He taps on the bright silver bell that lay on the desk and waits for service.

As the sound stops, Sasuke misses the sound noise hits it again. After a while, he ends up hitting it to the rhythm of 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'. He smiles, enchanted with the wonder of this amazing little bell. Searching the shop with his eyes, he checks to make sure that nobody is around. Quickly he shoves it into his shirt, then casually walks out of the store, ignoring the fact that every time his set one of his feet on the ground, a loud 'ding' would occur.

"Aww man," he says, slapping his forehead angrily, "I should have waited until after the store person told me where babies come from!" He looks down at the small silver bell in his hand and wonders if it was worth it. Looking up, he sees Itachi and Kisame begin to walk into a large eerie building. 'Hey, Itachi is older, and he was around when my family got me- maybe he knows!' Sasuke waits until his brother and his brothers' partner have closed the door behind them to the building before going over to follow them- 'what are they up to now?'

The store clerk slowly comes out of the back out the shop, wiping the sleep from his eyes. 'Was someone here?'

Itachi closes the large door behind them, his eyes trailing the staircase ahead of them up to the room that the noise was definitely coming from. Kisame keeps his eyes on his partner, 'Gawd- he's soooo awesome when he's serious!! Almost better than Mickey himself!' Kisame thinks, smiling. A voice plays through his mind. "Hey there Kisame! Remember, you promised we are best friends, which means that I'M BETTER THAN EVERYONE- EVEN THAT WEAKLING YOU CALL A PARTNER- got that buddy!!' Kisame feels waves of fear, then happiness, then stupidity, then fear again wash over him as he hears Mickey's voice- "I'm so sorry Mickey", he says aloud, tears beginning to start in his eyes.

Itachi turns to Kisame, weirded out that now he was so obsessed with Mickey that he was talking to him absentmindedly, then again, it is Kisame, and isn't his mind always absent? Itachi feels a bit of cold air drift up his cloak and he shivers, maybe he should have worn more clothing under it than he had. Slowly, he steps forward, there was a light under the door at the top of the stairs and this time, Kisame heard the sound too.

"No way- Itachi who would be so fearless that they would-" Kisame begins, but stops himself, not wanting to be heard by the person they were sneaking up on. Itachi twirls his long hair between his thumb and fourth finger , thoughtfully, should they just walk up there, or be more sneaky about it? Sasuke stands out side of the door, listening to the conversation, and also hearing the sound. He looks up in shock. How could anybody-?

Sakura quickly leaves the alley, almost running. 'Omigosh- why are people in Konoha so weird today?!' she asks herself. Just as she steps out onto the main street, she cries out in shock and pain and falls to the ground harshly, the person she ran into is also, now, on the ground.

"Hey- what the heck do you think you're doing?!" Tamari shouts at Sakura as she picks herself up quickly. Sakura looks up and smiles- another person!!

In unison they shout, "I need to ask you something!!" Tamari frowns at Sakura, "Me first." Sakura nods, in fear of her life. "Well, you know Shikamaru, don't you?" she asks, her face blushing red. Sakura again nods, her life is on the line here! She'll agree to anything! "Umn, well," Tamari says, embarrassedly. "Do ya have any clue where he might be right now?" Sakura looks at Tamari, surprised.

"Ooooooooooh- I get it!" Sakura smiles, a knowing look on her face for the first time in her entire life. Tamari's face becomes a brighter red.

"You do?" she asks, a smile playing on her lips, 'how can she possibly know?'

"Of course- it's so obvious!! He stole your fan, didn't he?" Sakura says, smiling her big, stupid, smile. Tamari smiles, relaxing and happy about Sakura's unintelligence.

"Uh sure, that's it!" she nods, helping Sakura to her feet and laughing. "Now, if you can only tell me where he is!" she asks, putting her hands together, hopefully. Sakura smiles.

"Why of course! Now let's see, I think he was in the gumdrop forest last time I saw him, but I dunno if you should go there! The juju beans might get you!" Sakura says. Not matter how intelligent of a tone she might have used- no one could ever say that sentence and be thought sane. Sakura smiles and walks away from Tamari, forgetting that she was going to ask her a question.

For moments, Tamari just stands there, gawking at Sakura as she walks away. 'That girl- when she cut all of her hair off- did it cause brain damage?!' she asks herself. Relying on Sakura's sketchy clue, Tamari heads to the in town forest- 'maybe this is what she meant...'

Itachi and Kisame slowly begin to walk up the stairs, the air is tense and so are the emotions. They haven't to find who's making the noise before that person leaves! They have to punish this person forever being born!

"Badum- Badum- badum badum badum!" Kisame, getting caught up in the feelings of anxiety, starts to sing the Pink Panther theme song in a hardly audible whisper. Itachi smacks him over the head. 'He's going to ruin everything!' Itachi thinks, frowning over-dramatically. He touches his face, feeling something odd. Slipping out a small kunai knife, Itachi gazes into his flawless reflection to make sure that he wasn't beginning to get wrinkles- he'd get in _so_ much trouble for that. Well- at least nobody knows about his dark secret- that's really all that matters to him.

Slowly, they finally reach the door. Itachi just stands there for a moment, faltering. The noise seems to have stopped. Itachi lets out a brief sigh, disappointed, were they too late? Outside the door, below Kisame and Itachi, Sasuke leans on the door, listening closely.

"Why have their footsteps stopped? Have they gone into another room?" Sasuke ignores the strange looks he was receiving from everyone who walked past him. To them, it seemed like he was simply enjoying a good conversation with the door to an old building- what's so strange about that- right?! He can hear nothing at all!

Slowly, both Uchiha's slide their hands onto the door handles in front of them. Each one overfilled with some sort of anxiety of what awaited for them on the other side of the door. Itachi begins to open the door, when the noise greets his ears again.

"Ya-yo, Ya-yo Ya-yo uh-oh.

His name is Luffy (That's Monkey D. Luffy)

Goin' to be King of the Pirates!

He's made of rubber (How did that happen)

Yo-ho-ho, he took a bite of gum-gum

Ya-yo Ya yo

His name is Zolo, He's like a samurai.

And a l.a.d.y, Nami's not shy.

Usopp's doin' that marksman thing, Sanji's cookin', Chopper's doctorin'.

Ya-yo, Ya-yo Ya-yo uh-oh.

Set sail for One Piece, it's the name of the treasure.

In the Grand Line"

Kisame cringes and looks at Itachi- knowing exactly how he would react to this. Itachi frowns deeply. 'This person- the one singing the 'one piece' theme song- I will kill them', Itachi decides, opening the door to reveal the singer.

Down the stairs, Sasuke opens the door the rest of the way, just in time to see his brother disappear into another doorway- suddenly, Sasuke had the urge to sing a 007 song.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

A bubbly red head runs around the streets of Konoha, his eyes covered in black makeup and bags from a loss of sleep- but you'd never know how emo he is if you saw him in this state of mind. His face is masked by a huge Sprite induced smile. Because we all know that Sprite is the key reason for Gaara- the hyper emo.

Sakura searches the streets for any sign of Sasuke; it seems to her like she's been around the world eight times over. Feeling someone tap on her right shoulder- she turns to face them- but no one's there. 'Omigosh- it's a ghost!' She hides her head under her arms and sits down on the street- "Don't eat me you mean ghosty!" she says- tears of fear pouring out of her eyes. "Eat Ino- her fat head would probably be filling!"

Ino stands up out of the chair she was sitting in and looks out her window down onto the streets of Konoha with her pupiless eyes. "I think I outta hit Sakura today," she says, scratching her burning ears. They say when your ears are burning; someone's talking about you.

"Oh come on pink hair- that's the oldest trick ever!" Gaara says, laughing, while standing on Sakura's left side. Sakura pouts.

"That was a mean trick!" she shouts at him, standing up and crossing her arms angrily. Her face was bright red from blushing. Wiping off her tears, Sakura looks at Gaara angrily- "You owe me now." She says, a bit of a smile crossing onto her lips. Gaara frowns.

"No I don't!" he says like a little kid, turning around from her and sticking out his tongue. Sakura slaps him.

"You made me cry! Unless you want me to get Broccoli to beat you up- you better do what I say!" she says. Gaara's eyes grow huge. How could she possibly know about his fear of vegetables?! Gaara turns to her and nods.

"What do you want me to do?"

Itachi slams the door open noisily- his eyes a fevered red of anger. "Show yourself!" he exclaims- rushing into the room, a kunai in his hand. Kisame comes in behind him, trying to look menacing, but that's kind of hard when you have a Donald Duck hat on your head. The traitor stands still in the middle of the room, not singing any longer, but instead humming the tune to 'one piece's' theme song. "How fitting that the traitor is you- Kabuto." Itachi say's raising his kunai.

"Now, now Itachi, we wouldn't want to be hasty, would we? After all, I do know your darkest secret!" Kabuto says, a nasty smile on his face. "Oh, and Kisame, at the end of the chicken dance- it's four claps, not three." Kabuto says, teasing Kisame for his lack of rhythm.

"You monster!" Kisame cries- upset that Kabuto just drowned his dreams of ever becoming the next Aquarium Idol. Itachi remains quiet in a deep, dark shock. 'How could he possibly ever have found out my secret!' Kabuto smirks at Itachi, watching him mentally break down.

"In fact, Itachi, why don't I just tell your partner? He'd like to know, I'm sure!" Kabuto smirks.

Sasuke slowly creeps up the stairs, voices traveling down from the open door at the top. Listening closely- he realizes that something major is about to be revealed. 'Maybe it's where babies come from!' he thinks, hopefully.

"Secret- oooooh- what secret?" Kisame asks, curious as ever and forgetting the recent dream that had just been smashed. "Is Itachi a robot with long tentacles and a bird beak?!" Kisame asks, wanting to know. "If so, I've been wondering about it for a wh-!" Itachi hit's Kisame over the head- frustration in his face.

"If I had any of those things, don't you think you would have seen them by now?!" he asks, closing his eyes in anger. Kisame frowns, his pride, and face, hurt.

"Oh no, Kisame- it's way worse than that," Kabuto says snidely, eyeing Itachi like a hungry beast.

"Is it that he is really a girl?" Sasuke asks, stepping into the room, unable to stay out of the conversation. Everybody looks to him in shock- when did he get here?!

"No, Itachi isn't a girl, oh but with his secret- I guess in a way he is," Kabuto says shrugging happily. "But I'm sure that you would like to know his secret also, wouldn't you? After all, he is your brother!" Kabuto says, his smile still not leaving. Itachi's eyes grow huge in mortification.

"No! You can't tell him! Sasuke, leave- now!" Itachi commands, his face turning a bright pink.

"So then- is his secret that he's hiding a munchkin under his cloak?" Kisame asks, a serious expression on his face. Kabuto shakes his head.

"Is it that he married a turkey named Elizabeth?" Sasuke asks, and Kabuto shakes his head. Kisame and Itachi look at Sasuke, completely weirded out.

"What kind of name is Elizabeth?" they ask in unison- what a strange name! Sasuke shrugs. For the next three hours, Kisame and Sasuke go back and forth with guesses, including things like, 'he is an alien', 'wants to date Anko', 'has a tattoo of a unicorn', and of course, the ever popular, 'that hair on his head is a wig'. But Kabuto shook his head no to all of these outlandish guesses. In all reality, Itachi's secret was much, much worse than any of these guesses, and he would have willingly agreed to any of them (especially the Anko one).

Chugging down his eighth can of Sprite, Gaara smiles big, searching as fast as he can for Sasuke. 'The sooner I find him- the sooner I can get back to what I was doing!' he thinks to himself. I'm not even sure if anyone knows what he was doing before he bothered Sakura.

Ino steps out of her house and onto the street. Looking to the left, she sees Sakura walking towards her. 'Ooh, now I can get her good!' she thinks, smiling. She puts her hands together to form a hand sign.

Sakura keeps her slow pace on the sidewalk, depressed and worn out from the, so far, four-hour search for Sasuke. Looking up, her heart skips a beat- Sasuke! She runs up to him, completely sure that this time it was him and not a smurf with a duck on his head. "Oh Sasuke-kun! You shy boy! Where have you been hiding all day?!" Sakura says, smiling and hugging him tightly.

"Eww, get off of me you toothpick!" Sasuke exclaims, pushing Sakura away from him. Sakura's eyes fill with tears.

"What's that supposed to mean my Sasuke-kun?!" she asks, covering her mouth in shock and wishing that it were just a dream.

"Well, you see Sakura," he starts off, a thoughtful look in his eyes, "I like larger girls- your just too skinny. If you want me to like you, you'd better go start eating this moment!" Sasuke says, turning away from Sakura. Sakura sticks out her bottom lip pitifully.

"But Sasuke-kun, everyone always said that you liked skinny girls!" she exclaims, tears starting in her eyes again. Sasuke shakes his head at her, then begins to walk away. Angry, Sakura runs up and slaps him.

"How could you do that to m-" she freezes, in a cloud f smoke, Sasuke disappears, and where he stood, Ino now stands. Sakura puts two and two together. "Eight!" she exclaims.

"What?" Ino asks, confused and holding her cheek in pain.

"Nothing- but- what do you think you were doing trying to trick me into getting fat?!" Sakura asks, angrily, her face red because she was about to run home and eat a whole bucket of Ben and Jerry's double churned extra creamy ice cream.

"You just answered your own question!" Ino says, impatiently. Beginning to walk away.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asks, confused, but what's new?

"Hopeless!" Ino exclaims, slapping her forehead, and running away to the safety of he own house. Sakura looks at the ground disappointed- she had wanted ice cream.

"Alright, so you want to know Itachi's secret, do you?" Kabuto asks, a big evil smile that Orochimaru would be proud of spreads across his face. Kisame and Sasuke nod; eager to know what exactly it was that Itachi was so desperate to hide. "Unless of course, Itachi, you'd be so kind to tell them yourself," Kabuto says, knowing that Itachi would never actually say it.

"Kisame, have you ever seen Itachi without his cloak on?" Kabuto asks, curiously. Kisame thinks for a moment.

"Actually- no I haven't," he says, surprised. Kabuto nods.

"There's a reason for that," he says, smiling maliciously. "You see, your Itachi here, he's actually", Itachi hides his face and turns around, away from everyone. "Itachi's a swimsuit model for bikinis." Everybody turns to Itachi in shock. Sasuke begins to laugh- so hard in fact, that it could be heard in the streets. Gaara looks up. 'Is he up there?' Kisame smiles big- laughing at Itachi also, but not as hard as Sasuke.

"Oh come on Itachi, won't you show us what you look like then?" Kisame asks, his eyes tearing up out of laughter. Kabuto reaches into his pocket and takes out a picture.

"Hey Kisame, look," Kabuto shows a picture of Itachi in an itty bitty teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini on the beach shore. Kisame laughs even harder- ignoring how disturbing it is that Kabuto has a picture of Itachi almost naked in his pocket. Itachi cries big tears of embarrassment.

"You guys are so mean!" he cries out- running away from the room full of idiots. 'They just don't understand the harshness of the modeling world!'


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Don't look at me!" Itachi cries out as he lunges out of the door to the building and down the street, almost running over Gaara. Gaara watches him, then looks to the building he ran out of. 'Perhaps Sasuke is in there,' he thinks to himself silently as he walks up to the huge ominous door.

Kisame finishes laughing, then gives Kabuto a death glare. "Hang on you twerp- don't think I've forgotten what you said about my dancing skills!" he growls, angrily. Sasuke backs away against a way- hoping to not get into this fight. Kabuto doesn't even flinch.

"Look, everything I said was truth- you, Kisame, have absolutely no dancing skill what-so-ever," he says, trying his best to sound like Simon Cowell. Kisame crosses his arms.

"OK! Here and now! You and me! DDR to the death!" Kisame says, angrily. He whips out his one of a kind portable DDR kit and sets it up in the blink of an eye. Kabuto shakes his head.

"I don't dance- I just sing," he says, shrugging. Noticing that Sasuke was still in the room, he looks at him- "How about the emo duck?" he asks, trying to get out of the contest. Kisame turns to Sasuke and looks him over, as if seeing if he were a worthy adversary. Sasuke goes pale.

"Umn- umn I can't," he says, raising his hands in front of him pitifully.

"Why not?" Kisame asks, angry that he was turned down so easily.

"Well, umn, you see," Sasuke tries to think of an excuse. "It's illegal for emo's to dance- and I haven't joined Orochimaru yet- so I'm not ready to be a bad ninja!" he exclaims, glad that since this is a fanfiction, he can be from any point of the series he wants to be.

"So who has the guts to challenge me so I can prove myself?!" Kisame asks, now hungry to prove that he was a good dancer.

"I am," Gaara says, now standing in the doorway, a large sombrero on his head and his face tilted down so that no one can see it. "Me, the Diablo el DDR!" he says, tossing the hat that had appeared out of nowhere off of his head and putting his hands on his hips dramatically.

"I accept your challenge!" Kisame says, turning on the game system. Gaara quickly chugs down his twentieth Sprite of this hour, and stretches.

"OK here we go!" Kisame says, stepping on his mat and Gaara stepping on his own. "START!" The game lights up and 'In the Navy' by Captain Jack starts to play. Kisame grins big- "This is my song too! You're going down!" Gaara ignores this, and keeps his mind and eyes on the screen.

Sakura continues to walk around the streets of Konoha- which is pretty much all she's done in this entire story. I could just have it so that she knows where Sasuke is- but that would end the story and I'd just start typing an Anko and Itachi fanfiction- and trust me- you don't want for that to happen do you-? NoOoOoOo!

So, anywho, Sakura begins to get worried. 'Sasuke should have shown up by now! Maybe I should have asked Cookie Monster, but I think he was too busy trying to eat Broccoli,' she thinks to herself, concern showing on her face. She tries to relax by watching the clouds briefly- then realizes something. "Hey cloud- aren't you supposed to be in the sky?!" she yells at a big fluffy cotton ball that was walking her way. And this time- she wasn't seeing things.

"Ah, what a pain!" Shikamaru says, realizing that his cloud disguise would only work if he was in the sky.

"What are you wearing that for anyways?" Sakura asks, curiously. Usually she was the person who looked insane.

"Well, Tamari is stalking me- I heard that she was going to cut off my manly ponytail- so I am hiding until she and the other sand weirdo's are gone," he says, sighing. "You haven't seen her around here- have you?!" Shikamaru asks, suddenly on his guard. His fluffy cloud costume looked so comfortable-

"Gah! What are you doing Sakura?!" he shouts, trying to push the pink haired ninja off of him. She holds onto him, rubbing her face against the ultra soft cotton. "Sakura stop!" he cries out- remembering that he forgot to put anything on under the cotton.

"Fine then- I'm sorry, you just looked like a pig fluffy pillow, so I-" she stops talking, then starts giggling. "Look, to make up for it, I'll tell you where Tamari will not be!" Sakura says, smiling and wanting to make up for embarrassing him. Shikamaru looks up- interested.

"Where- where will she not be?" he asks- really wanting to know.

"Well, I told her that you never do to the forest, so maybe you should go hang put there!" Sakura says, nodding and looking like she was thinking back, although she wasn't.

"Thank you Sakura!" Shikamaru shouts as he runs off to the forest to hide. 'Hmn, he'll be cute without hair', Sakura thinks to herself. Wait- did Sakura just- think?!!!

"In the navy!" Kisame sings along, trying to keep up with Gaara's extremely great footwork, but still lacking. 'There's no way I'll ever beat him!' Kisame worries, moving as fast as he can- but still not fast enough. Gaara moves as fast as humanly possible, his sugar high keeping him as fast as he can, when suddenly-

Everybody in the small building covers their ears in pain as Gaara snores loudly. Kisame looks down on his opponent that now lay face down on the floor.

"What just happened?!" Kisame exclaims, still keeping his steps up to rate on the game while trying to hold his Donald Duck hat over his ears.

"It's called an energy crash," Kabuto shouts over Gaara's snores as he smothers the sound with a large pillow over Gaara's face. "All of those Sprites were bound to catch up with him- but at least it's better than cherry cola," he says, kicking one of the soda bottles across the floor. Kisame nods in agreement.

"Yeah- who would be crazy enough to like cherry cola?" he asks, then looks at the situation. "This game doesn't even count! My opponent got knocked out before it could even begin!" Kisame says, tired of this already. "And what's with all of the characters showing up?! Next thing you know, she'll bring back someone from the dead!" he says, shaking his head.

"Oh, now look what you've done, you've ruined my entrance!" Haku says sadly. He shrugs and walks the rest of the way into the room of ugly people and an emo. Kisame is confused because he doesn't catch onto idea's fast. He failed ninja school the first eight times and dropped out on the tenth one even though he passed on his ninth time in it.

"That's a lie!" Kisame says, crossing his arms in a frustrated way. "I passed the first time I was in ninja school!" he says, looking around for where the author of this extremely pointless fanfiction was. The room has another door and he opens it.

"Ignore the girl sitting behind the big green curtain that has the sign 'author here' on it!" Kisame hears. He pushes the curtain aside and sees Kitty hiding behind her computer. Now Kisame walks away from the room, not wanting to bother the extremely gifted author.

"No I don't! I'm staying here!" Kisame exclaims, defying the laws of a fanfiction. "Besides that point, your not even a mediocre writer! I mean Tonton could write a better fanfiction than you!"

"Oink!" Tonton exclaims, finally escaping Tsunade. Kitty gives Tonton a death glare and then contemplates cooking the pig for bacon to feed to Akamaru later.

"So what do you want then?!" Kitty- well who am I kidding? _I _exclaim, terrified of the giant smurf.

"Make us all less out of character and stop ogling over my partner! If you liked him so much- you wouldn't have made him into a bikini model!" Kisame shouts at me. Ouch- the truth hurts. I sigh sadly, looking over to the picture of Itachi I just made my pic on my youtube. But- I won't loose to someone who wears Donald Duck on his head!

"No!" I say, standing my ground. "Now do as I say! I rule you!" I command. Kisame's expression goes blank for a couple moments, then he walks back into the room that everyone was waiting for him in. Whew- that was too close! I quickly reply to my email buddy Joaquin, then get back to typing the chapter.

"I am the best DDR dancer ever- no one can beat my speed or accuracy!" Haku says, bragging, his arms crossed in front of him.

"I'm sorry, but I don't fight girls!" Kisame says, smiling while thinking, 'gosh that girl is GORGEOUS!'

"What- did- you- just- say?" Haku asks lowly, the anger very, very, apparent. Kisame realizes he just made a huge mistake.

"Umn, nothing- let's go!" Kisame says, not wanting to get beaten up by a girl. Haku nods and steps onto his mat and Kisame steps on his own. "Let's go!" Immediately, Butterfly, the most well known and overused DDR song starts to play.

"Ai - ai- aye! I'm your little butterfly!" Haku sings as he gracefully gets every point possible. Kisame watches amazed- 'oh no- this one's better than the last!' I sit back, away from my keyboard and read over the chapter. Should I stop here and type more for chappie five- or write more for this chappie? Hahaha- like that's really a question!


End file.
